and How it Will Succeed
An Original "Tall Tale"
There once was a rat whose name was Trash. Trash lived in an underground fortress at the top of Mt. Whitney, the second highest mountain in the United States, elevation 14,496 feet. In his underground fortress Trash had many rooms filled with his spaceaged inventions and a large laboratory equipped with all the latest testing and analyzing gadgets. Trash, at this time, was trying to perfect a serum of dehydrated water so that just one drop of this serum could produce a sea of water in a place like the desert where the Indian reservations are. This would be a major scientific breakthrough thought Trash. So Trash went down to the computer room to see if the computer could help him find a formula. In half an hour the computer had produced a formula so that when two chemicals, one a liquid and one a powder, made contact with each other, they would instantly make billions of gallons of water. Then Trash had to go to a vast place to test out his formula. He picked the Sahara Desert in Africa, and climbing into his ratjet he arrived on the middle of the desert in half an hour. Trash had also perfected a liquid so that when he wanted the water to stop he would merely have to drop one drop of this liquid onto the gushing water, and it would stop immediately. So Trash laid the powder on the ground. Then getting into his ratjet he flew about 50 feet up in the air and dumped a large bucket of the solution over the side of the jet. Instantly, water started up in a gusher as though he had hit an oil well, and soon the whole area around him was covered with about two feet of water. Then Trash poured a teaspoon of the liquid that would stop the flow of water out of his jet and onto the well. In an instant the water flow stopped and soon the desert soaked up the water. Trash was delighted with his success and flew back to his fortress immediately to perfect his solution and make mass quantities of it. After he had finished making this he got a brilliant idea. He decided that he would go to the desert in the middle of America and show the starving Indians what he had made and try and get them on his side. Then, Trash, the Indians, and all the rats and their ratjets, ratmobiles and ratsubs would attack and take control of the world. So Trash once more got into his ratjet and sped over to the reservations with his invention. After the Indians had witnessed the demonstration, they all joyously agreed to work with him. Then Trash gave them some of this solution so they could try to get some strength up before the attack. Then Trash went back to the fortress to make the plans. A week later everything was ready. The full force would attack on Christmas Eve which was three days away. Trash thought that this would be a perfect time to attack because everyone would be drunk and off-guard. So at midnight on December twenty fifth the door at the top of Mt. Whitney opened and ten million ratjets flew out. Each ratjet carried two passengers: one to guide the jet and one to fire the laser beam at the cities. Then in all the major sea ports of the world the ratsubs started up from the bottom where they had been waiting all day to destroy the docks and ships. And from in the heart of the cities the ratmobiles came out destroying everything in their path with a very neat laser that Trash himself had invented. Trash, at this time, had flown down to the reservations in his own ratjet and had freed all the Indians and given them lasers and other weapons to fight with. Then at four o'clock in the morning the people decided to give up to the rats and the Indians. Then Trash invented pills that you could eat in space to make you be able to breathe, and he made ten huge rocket ships. He then made all the people in the world get in these and sent them to Mars. Then he destroyed all the cities and anything else that man had ever made except the farms and let the Indians, the rats and all the other animals of the world roam freely. And so ends the story of one of the greatest heroes that ever lived -- Trash.
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